Remember when “ghosting” was the peak of dating drama? Or when “bae” was the new word everyone was using?
Fast forward a few years (and a thousand TikToks later), I’m now sitting here with a whole dictionary of Gen Z dating terms.
And yes, I’m a millennial. I grew up on MSN Messenger and “Facebook official” relationships. And I used to think that “cuffing” meant… entering a serious relationship? (News flash: that’s not exactly what it means…).
So, for anyone else who feels like they need extra subtitles when scrolling through #DatingTok, here’s your guide to some of the modern dating terms clogging our feeds and confusing our group chats.
👻 Ghosting
Let’s start with an easy one you probably know.
Now, not to confuse this with people who step away quietly for their own peace or safety, AKA going no contact.
Ghosting is when someone you’re talking to, or someone you were dating, suddenly disappears without warning. No texts, no explanation, no goodbye. Just poof.
Modern translation: They exited the chat, maybe blocked your number, and don’t engage with you anymore. You’re left wondering, “WTF happened?”
🥖 Breadcrumbing
Also called Hansel and Grettelling (yes, the tale!), breadcrumbing is when someone gives you just enough attention to keep your hope alive, but never actually commits.
They’ll send you late-night “hey” texts, drop the occasional flirty comment, and maybe even talk about going on a future vacation together.
But news flash: they have no intention of seriously dating you. They just don’t want you to disappear.
Modern translation: They’re not hungry for a full relationship. They just like leaving you “crumbs” so they feel wanted. In other words, breadcrumbing is the modern-day version of “leading someone on.”
🍪 Cookie-Jarring
This one’s especially brutal. Cookie-jarring is when someone keeps you around as a backup option while actively pursuing someone else.
You’re basically the Plan B they flirt with “just in case” their first choice doesn’t work out. Yikes!
Modern translation: You’re not the main character. You’re more like… the emergency snack they keep in the pantry.
🚩 Beige Flags
Unlike green flags that mean go, or red flags that basically mean run, beige flags are… just meh. They’re small habits or quirks that aren’t bad, but might be boring, weird, or make you hesitate for a second.
Think: someone who wears black socks with white running shoes, or someone who sets wake up timers instead of alarms.
Modern translation: It’s not a dealbreaker, but it might be a conversation killer.
🪦 Haunting
If you ever find your ex silently stalking your social media accounts, you may be experiencing haunting.
This happens when someone you’ve cut off completely still interacts with your social media. Maybe they’re watching your stories, leaving comments, sending clingy DM requests here and there, or occasionally reacting to your selfies with a heart emoji.
Basically, they just can’t take a hint. And, lowkey, sometimes it can get pretty creepy.
Modern translation: You cut them off, but they’re still hanging around like they never got the memo.
💣 Love Bombing
At first, it feels like a dream: constant attention, big declarations, lots of thoughtful gifts, the “I’ve never felt this way before’s.”
Then suddenly, it fizzles.
Love bombing is when someone overwhelms you with affection fast, only to pull away once they feel like they’ve “won” you.
Modern translation: It’s not true love. It’s the dating version of clickbait.
🪐 Orbiting
This one’s like haunting’s cousin, but I guess, not quite as scary?
Orbiting is when someone from your past has cut contact, but still lurks around your social media. They might watch your stories, like your posts, or engage with your content… but never with you directly.
You know the type. They don’t reply to your DMs, but they somehow always like your new Reel within five minutes…? Talk about mixed signals.
Modern translation: They won’t talk to you, but they won’t fully leave you alone either?
🧹 Cobwebbing
Finally, some good news! This one’s one of the few dating trends that doesn’t suck.
Cobwebbing means clearing out old relationship clutter. It could be as simple as deleting an old flame’s number and text messages, unfriending them on social media, or clearing out old letters, hoodies, or anything really that reminds you of your ex.
Heartbreak and breakups are tough, but cobwebbing can help you take back your power and open your heart with self-love. Oh, and fun fact: cobwebbing is a term coined by Bumble (yes, the dating app!).
Modern translation: Emotional spring cleaning. Out with the ex, and in with the fresh start!
💭 Final Thoughts
Modern dating can sometimes feel like scrolling through Urban Dictionary. But hey, at least we’re learning.
Whether you’ve been breadcrumbed, haunted, or maybe orbiting someone yourself (no judgment), the fact that these words even exist means that we’re trying to name what we feel.
And maybe that’s a good thing. At the very least, it means that we’re not alone in this strange new world of “situationships” and “soft launches.”
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to look up what “That’s Ohio!” means…
The Lilac Blog 