If you know me, you know how much I LOVE a good rom-com.
I’m always scrolling Netflix late at night, looking for something sweet, funny, and maybe even a little (or a lot) cheesy. Recently, I stumbled on a new one called The Life List, and it ended up being so much more than just another feel-good movie.
Netflix poster of The Life List
What it’s about 🎬
Based on the 2013 book by Lori Nelson Spielman, The Life List follows Alex Rose (played by Sofia Carson – LOVE her!), who inherits a DVD from her late mother along with a challenge: she must complete her childhood “life list” in order to receive her inheritance. Each item on the list is something she once dreamed of as a little girl, but lost sight of as life went on.
Purchase Spielman’s The Life List at Indigo for $24.95
Why this rom-com is different 🏆
Most rom-coms focus on grand gestures or fate, but this one feels softer and deeper. It’s really about asking yourself honest questions: about love, about life, and about who you wanted to be before life got in the way.
Alex’s life list includes sweet, hopeful things like learning to play Clair de Lune on the piano, or camp under the stars, or read Moby Dick from start to finish…
But the hardest item on the list is probably finding true love.
To help, Alex’s mom leaves behind 4 simple yet revealing questions, a kind of quiet “true love test” to help her see if the man she’s with is really “the one.”
Alex’s life list
The 4 questions (and what they really mean) 💌
In the movie, these 4 questions become Alex’s guide.
They really stuck with me because they feel so real and timeless. And honestly, they might help any of us look at our own relationships a little more clearly.
1. Can I tell them everything in my heart?
Translation: Do I feel safe, comfortable, and truly seen? Can I share my secrets, worries, silly stories, and deepest dreams without fear of judgment?
Why this matters: Feeling safe to be completely yourself is at the heart of real intimacy. Love without openness can start to feel lonely over time.
2. Are they kind?
Translation: Do they show real kindness? Are they gentle with my feelings, patient in tough times, and caring even when no one’s watching? Are they kind, not just with me, but also with strangers, friends, family, and even waiters or strangers on the street?
Why this matters: Kindness isn’t just about how they treat you when things are good. It shows up in everyday moments, and it’s what makes love steady, forgiving, and deeply rooted in respect for everyone.
3. Do they help me become the best version of myself?
Translation: Do they lift me up? Do they encourage my dreams, creativity, and growth? Do I feel more like myself when I’m with them? Or do I shrink a little?
Why this matters: The right partner doesn’t hold you back or make you doubt yourself. They make you braver, happier, and more you.
4. Can I imagine them as the mother or father of my children?
Translation: Whether or not I want kids, is this someone I’d trust to build a future with? Do we share values, responsibility, and the kind of partnership I’d want for a lifetime?
Why this matters: This question is really about long-term compatibility, asking whether this person is someone you’d trust to share life’s biggest challenges and joys.
Alex opening a DVD from her late mother
How to use these questions for yourself ✏️
These 4 questions are simple, but they can open up BIG insights if you take a moment to really reflect on them. When you’re ready, try these 4 steps to get clear about your own relationship.
1. Write them down
Seeing the questions on paper helps you slow down and really think about your answers.
2. Answer honestly
Don’t overthink or guess what you want the answers to be. Be truthful with yourself, even if it feels uncomfortable.
3. Talk it out
Share your thoughts with someone you trust, like a close friend, family member, or even your partner if you feel safe doing so.
4. Remember the goal
These questions aren’t about finding perfection. They’re about finding someone who feels right for you. They’re about finding the person you want by your side for the long haul.
Watch The Life List on Netflix
Final thoughts 💭
The Life List reminded me that true love isn’t about chasing butterflies or waiting for dramatic moments worthy of a Hallmark movie. It’s about kindness, feeling safe, growing together, and building a life that feels genuine and real.
So if you ever find yourself wondering whether you’ve found true love, give this movie a watch, and then take a quiet moment and ask yourself these 4 questions.
Often, your heart already knows the answer… it just needs you to listen!
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